mood worn out

i've been H I T.
In the midst of insomnia and mild lovesickness, i've been hit by a sudden and violent bout of nostalgia.
i am missing NY days.

yesterday my mum and I went shopping at suntec + millenia. I came back with a small heap of things and and a gargantuan piece of guilt tagged to the day's loot. why? because my wallet was still pretty much intact. my mum's wasn't, obviously.

We bought a hundred-odd dollars worth of lingerie from La Senza and then went to this choc shop called Ernest Hillier Delectable Chocolates at Millenia. it was full of chocolates, and we were like two little kids lost in a candy shop, literally. i pondered over the nougats for a good 15 minutes wanting to get some for rudy, before realising that they were mostly rock-hard and teeth-unfriendly nougats.

after a while, in a bout of the notorious impulsive buying phenomenon, my mum and I, each armed with a plastic bag, went to the $3.80/100g section and merrily picked from the myriad of colourfully-wrapped little sins. we went crazy for a while, comparing our loots.
she was accusing me for choosing uninteresting-looking chocolates while i was chiding her for bagging so many!! In the end, we spent, or rather, my MUM spent thirty dollars worth of hand-picked chocs. madness.

so a while ago i was just sorting those colourful little things, lamented that some of them melted a little but rejoiced soon after because that meant i could eat them after chucking them in the fridge for 2 minutes.

and then i thought of Gunardi.

-gideon, stop laughing-

He was the first indonesian i met in Nanyang before realising that we were in the same class.
i just remembered that last time he always got me, gideon and khala yummy chocolates when he got back from Germany. so all those chocolates-sorting just reminded me of him. mainly because Ernest Hillier also sold the German-made Hanuta hazelnut chocolates that he used to get us! and then, hit by the said wave of nostalgia, my mind just drifted to those Nanyang JC days.

Skipping lectures with gideon, dragging timid little khala to skip lessons and go to Macs with us, then getting caught in the canteen by Ms Choong together. Copying tutorials together, flunking physics tests together, then got scolded by Mr Neo in front of the class together.
me and gideon always finding ways and means to skive and skip redpill meetings, by hook or by crook. waiting for yenny after classes, the routine walk to the prata stall, sigh.

so many things have changed..

often at the crossroads of life, faced with the need for circumstantial changes, we all dutifully tell our pals, nothing will really change. but being a little more discerning and grown now, i think that's childish. Tears are shed not because things are oh-so-sad, but simply in acknowledgement for the fact that things do and will change. whether you like it or not.

so now i am missing those days terribly. days when i was still finding my way to adulthood but still bound by the obligations of donning mud-looking uniforms. and i don't even have photos to look back on. because gideon has been owing me photos for 2 years already, still with no sign of repentance.

hmm.. those days.