mood beat
hooked on to My Simple Song by Giving My Best.

City Hall . Broken belt . Soggy pastries . Melted ice cream . Smudged mascara

Finally met up with Gideon after much much much confusion. Honestly, how do event planners/ organisers make a living? salute.
Were walking rather aimlessly, abandoned plans of watching movie or going to the jazz bar, and just talked the night away, eating ice cream straight from the tub while sitting across Singapore river. It was just an incredibly lazy night, at least for yours truly.

Been in a rather melancholic and sombre mood lately. a mix of bored reluctance and the ubiquitous restlessness i've grown all too familiar with. like a goldfish trying to jump out of the aquarium. which reminds me of the Bacardi Breezer advertisement on those quirly ZO post cards. A story of a fish which jumped out of his little home by weaving water plants into an escape staircase. the note he left goes,

"Plant, glass wall. Plant, glass wall. Going round and round and ...
HAD IT! @#*%!! Need a real drink!"

and off he went to get his Bacardi.

hahaha...

ok. nonsense alert. it's 2am. apparently my body clock is still in dire need of a quick fix.

it briefly occured to me that perhaps i should have signed up for the special term to clear some modules. maybe i'll graduate faster that way.
Been frequenting a few blogs and websites which have some very very impressive photography and graphic design.. it's funny how whenever my eyes get hold of a superb or inspirational piece of artwork, my heart goes pitter patter and i feel the bottom of my stomach sink a little lower and does a quick somersault. it's like a crush. perhaps too numerous to keep count but that first glance was arresting. momentarily breathtaking.

what, i reiterate, WHAT am i doing in food science and technology?

i love good designs. when i park myself at borders i find myself zooming straight to those interior, graphic design section. and cookbooks of course. and i could just drown myself in those images like a small girl with bunny teeth and ponytail lost in a candy shop. i love looking at rudy's portfolio. i think my boyfriend is talented. and no, i'm not biased.

i should bug him to teach me photography. but goodness gracious all the memory work drives me nuts.

*bites fingers*

so depth of field depends on aperture and aperture depends on the size of opening and big holes equals shallow depth of field and small holes equals deep field and then shutter speed is ... *ramble-ramble* ...

eh, wazzat?

people say that isn't easy for one to admit one's weaknesses, but i can say with all honesty that i lack discipline. i often start on a high note and let the music fade midair into an unfinished symphony of complacency and mediocrity. i lose momentum easy. as a kid, my mum enrolled me into a frenzy of courses and tuitions. ballet (which was a flop cos i had a penchant for escalating my teacher's blood pressure with my idiocy), piano, drawing class, math, english, and violin. a brief stint not too long ago.

My drawings were always above average, i could do mental calculations faster than my peers could say abc, as a primary school kid i finish my tests barely 10 minutes after it commenced while my classmates struggled with adding 56 to -17, my violin tutor thought i was a freak and asked me what my IQ was, and i played my first worship song within 2 days of picking up a guitar.

sigh, so much for a grand beginnings.

it's ok! i'm gonna pick it up where i left.


A tree doesn't struggle to bear fruits. it struggles to get sources of water.

Lord, i need Your living water.