mood: kinda stressed.
listening to: The Waltz by Silje Nergaard

a quick post before bed.

if there's a word to describe how i'm feeling at this very minute, right down to the seconds, it would be disorganised.
ok, words are cheap. so lets be generous.
disorganised, dislocated, stressed up, bummed out, nerve-wrecked, fed up with school.

there.

this week has been and is going to continue being a crazy week. 3 lab reports due, a 1000-words essay on Big Bang theory and the prehistory of the earth (somebody just shoot me), 2 tutorials, one of which was pretty messed up and another one screwed inside up upside down. never have i attended a chemistry tutorial where i totally caught no ball.
it felt scary sitting in the midst of the classroom and realising that your neighbours knew what was going on even if they said that they dont. well at least they know something.
ask me what is an sp2 orbital and how to calculate formal charge and i may jolly well frustrate you with my idiocy.

2 tests coming next week and the week after next. i think.

is it not a vicious cycle, that you fall into a mercilessly deep abyss of workloads, trying so hard to keep yourself afloat amidst the crazy mug-wave, only to come out of it jaded, torn, worn-out, and to fall into the same shithole all over again the next semester.

it's during times like this that i cant help but re-think everything that felt so right before. is it time for me to re-assemble my puzzle of principles and perceptions all over again? energizer is running out. i cant seem to muster the energy to run.

hall life is taking its toll on me too. i seem to have become a hermit crab on the verge of shutting myself in my shell. the social butterfly looks like she's losing her wings.. or wait a sec, has she just died?

it's 4.25am now.. the coffee worked surprisingly well. i want to do some more work, but lecture is at the ungodly hour of 9am tmr.. oh trust me, once you come out of JC alive, you just wouldnt be able to go back to the same 7am-wake-up-stand-up-sing-song anymore.

urgh.. to bed it is..


"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." _Ephesians 1:3