mood: undescribable
hooked on to: caribbean blue by enya.

in transition
i had a dream last night.. vividly remember faces and thoughts. but it was agonising nonetheless. i wanted to push my blanket away & get out of it. but i didnt.
i hate dreams! it leaves you so restless when u wake up in the morning, dont u think?

i've been having very disorganized thoughts within my mind for a very long time.
recollections. joy. expectancy. uncertainty. hope. doubts. questions. answers. questions. questions. questions...
i think i'm in a major transition period in my life. it would be nice if i dont have to go through this alone but i guess in life sometimes you dont get to choose. you dont get to bargain on how you enter the maze. you can only cling on to the promise that you'll get out of it whole. stronger. and more beautiful in His eyes.
gone are the days of emotional & spiritual picnics. the road ahead is long.

i dont even know how to write this post properly. disorganised indeed.
then again, it's interesting how i always seem to accidentally stumble upon songs that when pieced together somehow echo my life.
so instead of killing my brain cells & trying to put my heart & soul into this entry, in vain may i add, i'll let them do the job.

welcome back to s'pore alexieee!! i wanna go for mission trips too.. :(
it's such a joy to hear about the encounters he had there! truly, God is good ya?

on a lighter note.. MY HAIR.
yeap. scrape the on a lighter note. hahaha..
i think it's improving. it's grown a little so it looks more kept now. & i've grown kinda used to it too. but i still look like total shit every morning i get out of bed & look into the mirror. i always think to myself: oh God, i wanna DIE..
but yeah..getting better. but still, i'm NOT going back to that place again. period.

Rise and Fall
by: Craig David
sometimes in life you feel the fight is over
and it seems as though the writing's on the wall
superstar you've finally made it
but once your picture becomes tainted
it's what they call the rise & fall (x2)

verse 1
i always said that i was gonna make it
now it's plain for everyone to see
but this game i'm in don't take no prisoners
just casualties
i know that everything is gonna change
even the friends I knew before may go
but this dream is the life I've been searching for
started believing that I was the greatest
my life was never gonna be the same
'cos with the money came a different status
that's when things changed
now I'm too concerned with all the things I own
blinded by all the pretty girls I see
i'm beginning to lose my integrity


sometimes in life you feel the fight is over
and it seems as though the writing's on the wall
superstar you’ve finally made it
but once your picture becomes tainted
it's what they call the rise & fall

verse 2
i never used to be a troublemaker
now I don't even wanna please the fans
no autographs, no interviews, no pictures
endless demands
gave in to vices that were clearly wrong
the types that seemed to make me feel so right
but some things you may find can take over your life
burnt all my bridges now I've run out of places
and there's nowhere left for me to turn
been caught in compromising situations
i should have learned
from all those times I didn’t walk away
when i knew that it was best to go
is it too late to show you the shape of my heart?

sometimes in life you feel the fight is over
and it seems as though the writing's on the wall
superstar you've finally made it
but once your picture becomes tainted
it's what they call the rise & fall
(x3)