ok. straight to the point. i think i better cut down on all the crap i've been ATTEMPTING to write before this stupid comp shuts down on me again. you see, i've been trying to blog UNSUCCESSFULLY for 3 times cos this ancient old thing kept going bonkers on me.

went for my first svc in 2 months yesterday & my fist cellgrp meeting in 2 months on saturday :)

oh well. been up to nothing much. it feels great to be back in s'pore but of course life isnt the same as what it used to be. i miss my social life. haha. nowadays people are either so busy with school or just plain unavailable. actually maybe it's the absence of school. i'm not saying that i like studying, going for lectures & stuff. i'm not even talking about routine. but it's just being in such close proximity with people you know. sometimes it can be comforting. haha. i need to meet new people. i really do.

I made my new year resolutions while i was back in bali. Pst. Kong once said, those who fail to plan are those who plan to fail :) how true!
so i actually sat down & think very hard about the things which would really bring me to a new level if only i actually start doing them. most of them are quite personal, really. but one of my resolutions is to stop thinking about the good old days. yes. been missing them but i'm determined to move on. afterall it's only when you let go of what little that you're clinging so hard onto that God will begin to bless you with something much better & fulfilling. For he's able to do exceedingly & abundantly above all that we can ever ask or think (eph 3:20) ... just like how he proved that to me last friday. yeah.. A level results were released on friday. all i can say is i'm so very happy. :)

and yet, the most wonderful thing that happened to me isnt getting my triple As. it's the fact that God helped me overcome my greatest fear. of failure, of accountability. After i was done with my exams, eventhough it was difficult, i eventually managed to battle with my fear to have this peace within. i told God i'm sorry that i didnt have enough faith. i told Him it's okay. no matter what my results were going to be, i'm gonna love Him all the same. and the day before results were out, i actually remember telling gideon that i'll be very happy with an A, B, C. in all honesty. But God showed me what it meant to inherit His promises. That having overcome, He gave me so much more that what i could ask for. i think this is the reason He showed me the verse, "and those who overcome shall inherit all things, and I shall be his God and he shall be my son." -Rev21:7-
and upon receiving my results i could actually hear Him saying, "see, I told you so."
i'm actually so full of emotions that i have no idea how to write them down. :)
anyway, hozefa commented that i looked wobbly on stage. i couldnt agree more. haha!

what a nice weather today! i woke up at 10.30am to the sound of such a heavy rain & gushing wind outside my window. such a great weather to sleep some more! haha. was talking to my auntie til the wee hours yesterday since she said she couldnt sleep. it was a very "open" talk. i talked to her about lots of thing. & i actually asked her the question i've really been wanting an answer for.

"are you looking forward to the day i move out?"

haha. please dont look at me like that! i asked that very good-naturedly. & so was her answer. i felt a little relieved. will not include details but it was good. i actually felt the distance getting closer. and eventhough she might not be the most fantastic person on planet earth, so am i. thus, i've begun to learn to make this work. since a few months ago actually.

hmm...what shall i do now? i'm bored... got no friends whose house i can pop by. haha. used to have but hrmpf. my grandma will be back in s'pore this evening. i'm a little sad and so is my auntie. hahaha!! for me, reason being i prefer to have the room all to myself. selfish i know but hey, this is my blog. and for my auntie, reason being.. erm... lets just say it's the mother-in-law thingy. you know. haha.

do get to me if you have any suggestions on how to kill time effectively & productively. it's been only 7 days in s'pore and here i am complaining. aiyo. cannot help it lah. i itch when i'm left at home too long. & the sad part is i dont think i can afford to go out too often cos bus & MRT fares now is so FRIGGIN' expensiveeee!! therefore, i really want a job. but then again, being a foreign student kinda makes everything difficult. so, if any of you has a rich dad or mum who needs an unofficial helper in his/her company, pleaseee.... employ me! haha. i'm not trying to sound pathetic okay! i'm realistic.

til then!



"courage is not the absence of fear but the conquest of it." _pst sun' journal.