Live life believing.

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

the sun is shining & the birds are chirping! ahhh... the smell of freedom. alas!

been sleeping a lot lately.. i repeat. A LOT. attempting to make up for those nights dreaming about chromosomes & Krebs' cycle & nitrogen compounds & Newton Raphson method & integration & ARGH! ok, i shall stop. hey, what can i do? it wasnt exactly nice. *evil grins*

having done all that i can, i put my trust in You..

i think it's funny! i would say that i dont exactly hate those days spent mugging, deciding WHERE to mug (though more time seems to be spent on the latter than the earlier. hah!), bitching about the ridiculously ... Singapore education system. yes you can go fill in the blank.
afterall what else do students do? *wink*
sigh..there's a mix between relief & regret. i wish my college days were more colourful..

anyway! just booked my air tickets. AGAIN. haha. now it's been changed to 25th Dec.. CAN YOU IMAGINE? flying off on xmas day.. oh goodness.. how sad!!? actually wanted one on the 29th but all fully booked. haiyah..this is the epitome of singaporean kiasu-ness. i mean, come on! i'm sure the whole singapore isnt exactly queueing up to go holidaying in Bali??

so i guess i'll be missing the xmas svc with the cellgroup... would have to go to the one on the 24th.. hmm.. wonder if i'll end up going alone? haha.

actually there are lots of things on my mind now.. if i'm better with language then perhaps i'll have no problems typing everything out here. but then again, this inadequacy has resulted in most of my thoughts just staying where they are. :)

will write again soon!

Felice @ 2:37 PM

Thursday, November 20, 2003

tmr is my last paper!!!!!!!!
oh GOODNESS!
i feel like i've AGED.
tmr i'm gonna havoc like mad! gonna watch movie with khala & God-knows-who-else.. then! saturday got a shopping date with mon2.. then gonna go to IKEA with khala. havent decided when. intending to go to newton circus one of these days too! yummy! & gideon's coming back tmr!
so.. yah.. i think i'll go back after xmas... oh well.
woo-hoooooo!!!
already feeling liberated!
now.. lets work on getting rid of those eyebags..

Felice @ 9:57 PM

All too often we are forced to share our bed with those who cannot fathom our soul. Can we not be forgiven if we believe ourselves fated to stumble one day upon the man or woman of our dreams? Can we not be excused a certain superstitious faith in a creature who will prove the solution to our relentless yearnings? And though our prayers may never be answered, though there may be no end to the dismal cycle of mutual incomprehension, if the heavens should come to take pity on us, then can we really be expected to attribute the encounter with this prince or princess to mere coincidence? Or can we not for once escape rational censure and read it as nothing than an inevitable part of our romantic destiny?

-On love, Alain de Botton-

Felice @ 9:12 PM

Thursday, November 13, 2003

so.
lets just see what's going to happen tommorrow...

Felice @ 8:08 AM

Lord you are always here with me.
there is no changing God in thee..
You are the same, yesterday, and today and forevermore
here on Your promises i stand
You hold my future in Your hand
my solid ROck, Almighty God, i worship You....

when troubles come, i trust in You
for i know You will bring me through..
and i know You are faithful til the end..
and when the storms are drawing near
when i'm with You i dont have to fear
You're my sheperd on whom i can depend
through the day, through the night..
i know You're always by my side...

Lord You are always here with me....

Felice @ 7:58 AM

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

ok. i'm over and done with MATHS. muahahahaha....
finally!!!!
bio was horrible. disappointing. but oh well...

Felice @ 7:08 PM

Monday, November 10, 2003

woo-hoo! maths paper 1 is over! that was a barrier crossed! :)

i'm beginning to feel that sometimes it's so hard to put my point across when last time all i needed to do was just be myself.
the realisation that someone u used to be able to talk about everything under the sun with is now so difficult to communicate with. it's really saddening. maybe the problem lies with me, i dont know..
it's true that maybe i'm not doing it right.. maybe i'm not carrying the joy as i should..

Felice @ 1:28 PM

*screams*
that darn paper is in 7 hours' time. and i cant sleep a WINK.
oh my GOODNESS gracious me.
i feel like everything is blank.
maybe i'm just too scared.
no! it shall not be! i shall go in faith and leave in victory! (courtesy of gideon.)

oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my...

Felice @ 12:19 AM

Sunday, November 09, 2003

*yawn*
it's almost 10am now! was mugging til the wee hours.. woke huiru up at 2am.. and dat girl!! missed 3 of my calls... was wondering if she got swallowed by her bed..
anyway! really hope everything will be well for the exams... hoping khala will do well too! :)
have to take a quick shower & breakfast (hopefully there's anything decent to eat) ... & then off to church!
am anticipating a life-changing mesage!
really praying another spiritual breakthru...He asked me how badly do i want it..

i want it VERY badly.

Felice @ 9:32 AM

Friday, November 07, 2003

oh dear...
the "thing" that i dread the most is poking its face in EXACTLY 3 days. excluding sunday it would be 2. minus sleeping time & eating time & showering time & travelling time, it would be about less than 24 hours. .

*silence*

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!! --> reality sets in.

oh MY.

i guess it's just something i've gotta face isnt it...the problem with me is just that i'm too proud to take failures. i cannot stand it when i find myself trapped in the position where i feel inferior next to that someone who seems to have it all. spiritual wise, i feel abit envious when i see that someone having encounters after encounters & shining His light so bright. all of a sudden i feel like the salt that has lost its flavour & a light that has been put under the basket. i feel like i'm not good enough. i feel like i've lost my first love. i feel like i've got no stamina to run & seek & knock & search for that thing i yearn for the most. i feel so out of touch. so out of love.
i want so badly to travel back & experience one more time that joy. that hunger. that passion. that knowing that His promise ahead is so worth clinging on to. it still is. but in a way i've let the haze cloud my vision. so bad..

i need to get away.. i really do...
funny isn't it... when things around you just start changing like never before & you feel like you're spinning & spinning & spinning... you ask yourself when is it ever going to stop? then you think it has. but it hasnt. you go through the same cycle of wondering what went wrong.. what have you done... but the answer doesnt come. and you wonder if it ever will.

argh.

oh well.. i guess it's like that.. sometimes you give. and you give. and you give. and you feel like you just cannot stop giving... they said you made a difference... and after a while you wonder if those words which once made you cry was really real. and you wonder if you wasted your tears on the right people.. and you wonder if you are still worth it. you wonder if they'll ever give you an answer. and you cannot stop wondering.

Felice @ 11:38 PM


Wednesday, November 26, 2003 the sun is shining & the birds are chirping! ahhh... the smell of freedom. alas! been sleeping a lot lately.. i repeat. A LOT. attempting to make up for those nights dreaming about chromosomes & Krebs' cycle & nitrogen compounds & Newton Raphson method & integration & ARGH! ok, i shall stop. hey, what can i do? it wasnt exactly nice. evil grins having done all that i can, i put my trust in You.. i think it's funny! i would say that i dont exactly hate those days spent mugging, deciding WHERE to mug (though more time seems to be spent on the latter than the earlier. hah!), bitching about the ridiculously ... Singapore education system. yes you can go fill in the blank. afterall what else do students do? wink sigh..there's a mix between relief & regret. i wish my college days were more colourful.. anyway! just booked my air tickets. AGAIN. haha. now it's been changed to 25th Dec.. CAN YOU IMAGINE? flying off on xmas day.. oh goodness.. how sad!!? actually wanted one on the 29th but all fully booked. haiyah..this is the epitome of singaporean kiasu-ness. i mean, come on! i'm sure the whole singapore isnt exactly queueing up to go holidaying in Bali?? so i guess i'll be missing the xmas svc with the cellgroup... would have to go to the one on the 24th.. hmm.. wonder if i'll end up going alone? haha. actually there are lots of things on my mind now.. if i'm better with language then perhaps i'll have no problems typing everything out here. but then again, this inadequacy has resulted in most of my thoughts just staying where they are. :) will write again soon! Felice @ 2:37 PM Thursday, November 20, 2003 tmr is my last paper!!!!!!!! oh GOODNESS! i feel like i've AGED. tmr i'm gonna havoc like mad! gonna watch movie with khala & God-knows-who-else.. then! saturday got a shopping date with mon2.. then gonna go to IKEA with khala. havent decided when. intending to go to newton circus one of these days too! yummy! & gideon's coming back tmr! so.. yah.. i think i'll go back after xmas... oh well. woo-hoooooo!!! already feeling liberated! now.. lets work on getting rid of those eyebags.. Felice @ 9:57 PM All too often we are forced to share our bed with those who cannot fathom our soul. Can we not be forgiven if we believe ourselves fated to stumble one day upon the man or woman of our dreams? Can we not be excused a certain superstitious faith in a creature who will prove the solution to our relentless yearnings? And though our prayers may never be answered, though there may be no end to the dismal cycle of mutual incomprehension, if the heavens should come to take pity on us, then can we really be expected to attribute the encounter with this prince or princess to mere coincidence? Or can we not for once escape rational censure and read it as nothing than an inevitable part of our romantic destiny? -On love, Alain de Botton- Felice @ 9:12 PM Thursday, November 13, 2003 so. lets just see what's going to happen tommorrow... Felice @ 8:08 AM Lord you are always here with me. there is no changing God in thee.. You are the same, yesterday, and today and forevermore here on Your promises i stand You hold my future in Your hand my solid ROck, Almighty God, i worship You.... when troubles come, i trust in You for i know You will bring me through.. and i know You are faithful til the end.. and when the storms are drawing near when i'm with You i dont have to fear You're my sheperd on whom i can depend through the day, through the night.. i know You're always by my side... Lord You are always here with me.... Felice @ 7:58 AM Wednesday, November 12, 2003 ok. i'm over and done with MATHS. muahahahaha.... finally!!!! bio was horrible. disappointing. but oh well... Felice @ 7:08 PM Monday, November 10, 2003 woo-hoo! maths paper 1 is over! that was a barrier crossed! :) i'm beginning to feel that sometimes it's so hard to put my point across when last time all i needed to do was just be myself. the realisation that someone u used to be able to talk about everything under the sun with is now so difficult to communicate with. it's really saddening. maybe the problem lies with me, i dont know.. it's true that maybe i'm not doing it right.. maybe i'm not carrying the joy as i should.. Felice @ 1:28 PM screams that darn paper is in 7 hours' time. and i cant sleep a WINK. oh my GOODNESS gracious me. i feel like everything is blank. maybe i'm just too scared. no! it shall not be! i shall go in faith and leave in victory! (courtesy of gideon.) oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my... Felice @ 12:19 AM Sunday, November 09, 2003 yawn it's almost 10am now! was mugging til the wee hours.. woke huiru up at 2am.. and dat girl!! missed 3 of my calls... was wondering if she got swallowed by her bed.. anyway! really hope everything will be well for the exams... hoping khala will do well too! :) have to take a quick shower & breakfast (hopefully there's anything decent to eat) ... & then off to church! am anticipating a life-changing mesage! really praying another spiritual breakthru...He asked me how badly do i want it.. i want it VERY badly. Felice @ 9:32 AM Friday, November 07, 2003 oh dear... the "thing" that i dread the most is poking its face in EXACTLY 3 days. excluding sunday it would be 2. minus sleeping time & eating time & showering time & travelling time, it would be about less than 24 hours. . silence ARGHHHHHHHHHH!! --> reality sets in. oh MY. i guess it's just something i've gotta face isnt it...the problem with me is just that i'm too proud to take failures. i cannot stand it when i find myself trapped in the position where i feel inferior next to that someone who seems to have it all. spiritual wise, i feel abit envious when i see that someone having encounters after encounters & shining His light so bright. all of a sudden i feel like the salt that has lost its flavour & a light that has been put under the basket. i feel like i'm not good enough. i feel like i've lost my first love. i feel like i've got no stamina to run & seek & knock & search for that thing i yearn for the most. i feel so out of touch. so out of love. i want so badly to travel back & experience one more time that joy. that hunger. that passion. that knowing that His promise ahead is so worth clinging on to. it still is. but in a way i've let the haze cloud my vision. so bad.. i need to get away.. i really do... funny isn't it... when things around you just start changing like never before & you feel like you're spinning & spinning & spinning... you ask yourself when is it ever going to stop? then you think it has. but it hasnt. you go through the same cycle of wondering what went wrong.. what have you done... but the answer doesnt come. and you wonder if it ever will. argh. oh well.. i guess it's like that.. sometimes you give. and you give. and you give. and you feel like you just cannot stop giving... they said you made a difference... and after a while you wonder if those words which once made you cry was really real. and you wonder if you wasted your tears on the right people.. and you wonder if you are still worth it. you wonder if they'll ever give you an answer. and you cannot stop wondering. Felice @ 11:38 PM	Me fel ulet_bu1u@yahoo.com.sg ol' goods November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 tagboard links hoze alexie tami the nutties monica max roy andre clement lydia sheares d-blockers! denyse kris suzanne gabe markie briony keer ling huiru original layout "w4rnawarni : no entry (ADfree)"